Gray area drinking is something many of us fall into. Drinking more than we’d like to but not enough for society to deem it an issue. Tavish found herself in that category and needing to change. This Naked Mind helped guide her.
Alcohol and I have always had a love-hate relationship. My father is an alcoholic and I remember going to rehab to visit him as a kid. I learned at a very young age how devastating alcohol is. In fact, growing up, I thought anyone who drank was an alcoholic. On the very rare occasions that my mom had a bottle of wine in the house, I would lose my mind!
I prided myself (and still do) on not ever doing a drug in my life (except alcohol). I was always the responsible one. Never got into trouble and am extremely goal-oriented.
My drinking really started in college when I turned 21 (having a fake ID would have been breaking the rules!). I drank through my 20s without much thought about it. Yes, I had regretful nights but doesn’t everyone?
At 31, I started grad school and I would say my drinking really started to escalate. It’s what you do to get through it, right? Happy hours were the norm. I was and always have been a social drinker. Drinking at home alone has never been my thing. The problem is once I start I rarely have an off switch. It’s like since I was never really a “partier” I’m making up for lost time or something. Plus, we don’t have kids so it’s not like I have to wake up for anyone the next day. We were living the life!
Until the nights I woke up not remembering anything about how I got home, or saying goodbye to everyone … it was completely lights out usually an hour or so before the night was over. I am so fortunate nothing bad ever happened but not being able to remember the night before is the worst feeling ever! Or when your husband is pissed at you and you have no idea why! Shoot me now!! The worst!!
Cut to September 2018. We woke up in a fancy hotel in downtown LA after a friend’s wedding the night before. Surprise, surprise, I don’t remember the last half of the night. And I felt like absolute crap! I told my husband this is nuts and I can’t do this anymore. I’m going dry for 30 days which turned into 6 months. I decided I wanted to be the healthiest I could be for my 40th birthday.
Those 6 months were amazing! I never felt better. I also discovered this entire community of folks who were choosing to live alcohol-free. “Gray area drinking” was another discovery, which is definitely where I fell into. I was happy. I felt powerful and like I discovered this magic kingdom! Well, then came my 40th birthday and we celebrated in Aspen. I did well up until my actual birthday and then I felt so deprived and like “you deserve it you made it to 40 after all!” So typical. Four glasses of wine later and there went my sober streak. I didn’t drink the rest of the trip but when I came home it was back to the races. No matter what anyone says, you will eventually end up right where you started. I do not believe moderation is possible for anyone who already doesn’t have a stop button.
Do you find yourself wondering if you fall into the category of gray area drinking or could it be something more serious? Check out our free guide and learn why you’re not an alcoholic! Download it here!
December 28, 2019 we had some friends over and the wine and champagne were flowing. Once again, I woke up and didn’t even know how I got to bed and was in the clothes I was wearing that night. Classy! The next morning I decided to join an alcohol-free challenge and didn’t drink for 368 days! That’s right! I was sober for all of 2020. Oddly enough, even during a pandemic, it was one of the best years of my life, if not the best! If I could sell how amazing I felt, I’d be rich!
Since the new year, I hit the f-it button and started drinking again. Our usual happy hours, mimosas at home on Sundays, wine with dinner when we went out (which was/is a lot). I started out doing really good “moderating” but at last, I was right back to before September 2018.
As of 7 days ago, I finally decided I’m done. Something has finally just stuck! I have officially retired from drinking and it literally feels like a 26-ton weight has been lifted off me. I finally got through This Naked Mind because I was finally willing to hear it. For once in my life, I don’t want it or crave it anymore (although I never craved alcohol I was fooled by the romance of it all). The last few months of drinking have been uneventful but I wasn’t even really enjoying it.
I could go on and on as I too come from corporate America where alcohol is celebrated (which is a whole other issue). However, I stopped drinking at work events a few years back.
Are you choosing to be alcohol-free like Tavish has decided to do? Start reading This Naked Mind now and learn how!
The benefits of not drinking far outweigh any perceived benefits of drinking. I am truly excited about my decision to retire and no longer feel like it’s a break-up like past breaks I’ve taken. It might have taken 3 years but I get it now. I get it. I never have to be hungover again. Not drinking is the most empowering thing I’ve ever done.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
Eleanor Roosevelt
We’d love to hear your story and the role This Naked Mind has played in it no matter where you are in your journey. Submit your story and inspire others through your words just like Tavish did!
