While I was still drinking I was pretty sure that there was no way you could actually be social without being a social drinker. The two just seemed so firmly entwined to me that I had a hard time separating one from the other. Every activity I could think of, from brunch with friends to a movie, all had alcohol involved. In the past few years I have discovered not only can you be social without being a social drinker but you can also have more fun doing it!
If you’re just beginning this journey it is harder to go out without being a social drinker because you don’t have experience under your belt yet. Choose wisely where to focus your energy in that case. If you know that the friends in question are heavy drinkers who will pressure you – you can take a pass. Look to get your feet wet with occasions where there will be plenty of alcohol free options as well. Also, pick things and people you actually enjoy so you won’t be tempted to drink just to numb yourself. That was a huge eye opener to me when I stopped being a social drinker – how many things I did out of obligation that left me numbing myself with alcohol. Now I just decline those invites to do something I want to!
Being social without being a social drinker can be harder when your entire social life was drinking. That is when it’s time to find new interests. I discovered Taekwondo when I stopped drinking. It has done so much for me, not just physically but also mentally. What have you always wanted to try but drinking has held you back? Take that adult gymnastics or ice skating class. Take up knitting, running, or volunteer. Learn to play an instrument, write a book – the possibilities are endless and they all create ways to spend time with people without being a social drinker.
The funny thing about being a social drinker is that you spend very little time actually socializing. After a few drinks every one is numb, the conversations get boring and people just get sloppy. I now know if I’m going out to be social I need to go in with a game plan. I arrive early and I plan to leave before everyone gets sloppy and starts to bore me. That might sound harsh but how many time do you really want to hear Bob repeat that story tonight?
When I stopped being a social drinker, there were some friends that fell by the wayside as well. That was upsetting initially but I quickly came to the realization that the only thing these friends and I had in common was a previous love of alcohol. That isn’t truly a friendship – it’s more of misery loves company situation. The friendships that were true friendships lasted and improved when I became alcohol free. I also developed new friendships that get stronger over a cup of tea rather than a glass of wine.
For more on how to be social without being a social drinker – start reading This Naked Mind for free today!
If you’re ready to stop being a social drinker, the most important thing you need to do is let go of the belief that you need alcohol to have fun. Kids don’t need alcohol to have fun. There are entire cultures that don’t drink and they still have a blast together. You use to be able to be social without drinking and you’ll find that place again.
